Droichead: The Film Script

The story of Droichead has been worthy of a film. It’s got a cast of characters, a big problem to be resolved, some bad guys, good guys and everything in between. If Droichead was to become a film, here’s my attempt at a script.

Some meeting room somewhere.

Inspectors: We don’t want to probate newly qualified teachers anymore. See ya!

Teaching Council: Oh no! What will we do?

Harold Hislop: Don’t worry. I’ll talk to the principals. They’ll do it.


IPPN Conference.

Harold Hislop: You guys are going to take over probating NQTs.

Principals: Em..no we’re not.

Harold Hislop: Oh yes you are.

Teaching Council: Great. That’s sorted now.


Initial Teaching Council CEPP Consultations.

Teaching Council: Hello. We’d like your opinions on probating NQTs. We’re calling it CEPP.

INTO: Go away! This is an outrage.

Teaching Council: Would anyone like to try out our pilot programme?

INTO: No way! Directive to all schools – no one is allowed to take part in this CEPP nonsense.


A few months later…

Teaching Council: What are we going to do?

Someone: I know let’s change the name of CEPP to a funky Irish word. What about Droichead?


INTO: This Droichead sounds great.

Teaching Council: Weren’t you against this a while ago?

INTO: Yes… but let’s not get into that. The guy who has written this script might get into trouble if we say any more.

Teaching Council: Em…ok. Now, who wants to be on the Droichead pilot?

INTO CEC Reps: We do!

Teaching Council: Great! Let’s go ahead so.


Teaching Council: Right, the INTO think Droichead is great. Who wants to be on the pilot?

Everyone else: This sounds exactly the same as CEPP. What’s going on?

Teaching Council: Droichead is fundamentally different to CEPP.

INTO: Yes, look. It is fundamentally different.

Everyone else: It doesn’t look different at all. We’re not going to do it.


Teaching Council: OK, let’s do another consultation but in the meantime, feel free to sign up to be a pilot school.

INTO: Be the change from within!

Everyone else: We’ll do the consultation.


Several Months Later:

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.

Everyone: Did you even read the consultations?

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.

Everyone: But there are big problems, for example, nobody has failed the pilot. Surely a pilot can’t be deemed successful if nobody fails?

Teaching Council: That’s why Droichead is a great success.

Everyone: But surely piloting one methodology flies in the face of good research practice.

Teaching Council: The methodology we have chosen is better than the current model. Therefore, Droichead is a great success.

Everyone: But surely you could try out other methodologies?

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.


More months pass:

Teaching Council: Our Droichead Schools are reporting back great success.

Schools: Wait… what the heck is a Droichead School?

Teaching Council: They are schools that have signed up to the pilot. They get great benefits such as they get €1,000 to spend on whatever they like. They also get release days for the NIPT mentors.

Schools: You’re just giving them €1,000… wait… don’t we already get release days for NIPT mentors?

Teaching Council: Well, if you’re not in the Droichead pilot, you can’t get them anymore.

Schools: This is outrageous. So if we aren’t in Droichead, we can no longer get an NIPT mentor and we lose out on €1,000 in funding?

Teaching Council: Why not be part of the pilot? Then you’ll get all these goodies.

Schools: Is this really happening?

Teaching Council: Yes. Droichead is happening and it’s a great success.


Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success. Look, here’s a report from the ESRI.

Everyone: But there are still some fundamental issues with Droichead.

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.


Teaching Council: We now have a number of schools on board and they all say Droichead is a great success.

Droichead School: Wait… I know we signed up to a pilot but there are big problems with it.

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.


IPPN: 80% of principals have stated they will not take part in Droichead in its current form.

Teaching Council: Press Release: Fantastic news – over 800 schools are happy to take part in Droichead. We look forward to expanding our network of Droichead Schools.


Teaching Council: Given that all we’re hearing is great news about Droichead, we can definitely say that Droichead is a great success. In fact, it’s such a success, you’re all going to have to do it in a couple of years. The roll out will be complete soon.

Everyone: Hold on. Most of us have been saying that Droichead is terrible.

Teaching Council: Droichead is a great success.



Teaching Council: Right, it’s election time. Vote for new delegates.

Anti-Droichead Candidates: OK. We’ll stop Droichead.

Teaching Council: Hmmm… we better make some changes to Droichead right in the middle of the election campaign. We’ll call them fundamental changes. They all fell for it when we simply changed the name CEPP to Droichead. Now we’ll call the process induction rather than probation.


Teaching Council: Oh no. The anti-Droichead candidates won their respective areas by landslides. Let’s put out a press release basically saying that Droichead is happening no matter what and reiterate that it’s great.








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